As sure as maggots will become flies

The Daily Mirror is a wonderful newspaper. Every day, there is at least a page dedicated to slagging off the Tories, and David Cameron in particular. Essential reading on the number 82 bus going to work every day.

But much as I like any attacks on the Tories, no matter how over the top or unfair, I did think that the recent sneering at Cameron for referring to Demosthenes was a bit feeble.

'How out of touch David Cameron is', jeered people who are so down with the kidz that they were, um, watching Prime Minister's Question Time live. 'After all, who has ever heard of Demosthenes', they asked, before going back to debate for hours the merits of Jon Cruddas or Alan Johnson - neither of whom are significantly better known to the wider public than Demosthenes (who at least has a distinctive dress sense).

It's a crude piece of anti-intellectualism, when in fact finding out about Demosthenes is a) not difficult and b) interesting for anyone who is already interested in politics or history.

When insulting Tories, we should keep to a higher standard. For example, the incomparable Brian Reade:

"You change as you get older. Your eyes linger on Sunday supplements advertising elasticated-waist slacks, cruises and 'comfy' shoes. You start to fancy the grandmas as well as the mums when you pick your kids up from nursery.

And most worryingly of all, you question long held views. Maybe we should hang killers, maybe our MPs should swear allegiance to Prince Edward's offspring, maybe that Radio 2 banter between Ken Bruce and Terry Wogan IS funny.

Which is why I am grateful to hear that Katie Hopkins, the fridge-hearted, equine-headed troll from the Apprentice, who takes such delight in wrecking families and calling Northerners oiks, has one driving ambition in life. To become a Conservative MP.

Some things in life are certain. As sure as maggots will become flies, Tories will always turn out to be bastards."