Privatise state funerals!

Here is the introduction from my new pamphlet on the case for privatising state funerals, based on research that I did for the Taxpayers Alliance and the Adam Smith Institute, which is due to be published in the Daily Express:

I see that the wicked Marxist government of Gordon Brown has delivered the ultimate insult to Lady Thatcher by proposing to offer her a state funeral. Through her life, the blessed Margaret Thatcher was a tireless foe of inefficient state monopolies which crowd out the private sector. A state funeral is likely to impose unnecessary burdens on the taxpayer, and there are thousands of small businessmen who would be able to do the job better at a fraction of the cost. In addition, there is the very real risk that strike action by feather-bedded public sector workers could delay the preparation for the funeral, or even disrupt the funeral itself.

Therefore, I propose that the preparation for the organisation of Lady Thatcher's funeral should not be given to the dead hand of the government, but should instead be privatised, with the contract being awarded to the lowest bidder.

It is further proposed that a one off levy, or poll tax, would be the most appropriate way to meet the costs of the funeral, in light of the great affection in which the majority of the people in Surrey across the land regard the woman who is quite rightly regarded as the saviour of our nation. Such a levy should be set at the same level for everyone, so as not to penalise success or reward failure.

In addition to the costs of the funeral, the money raised by this poll tax will be used to meet the costs of the police, who will be asked to offer the same vigorous response to the tiny majority minority violent and extremist protesters as they did when the Communist-backed National Union of Mineworkers attempted to make Great Britain submit to the tyranny of the trade unions.