Thursday, March 05, 2009

On being found out

Someone called 'Wrinkled Weasel' has nearly guessed my secret identity:

He wrote in the comments on Tom Harris' blog, "BTW in five years of watching the political blogs I have not come across a commenter called “Don Paskini”. Strangely, he gets a mention on Bickerstaffe, who is now banning comments he does not like. He wouldn’t be one of those party attack dogs who hide behind ad hoc identities, so beloved of the Derek Draper school of rebuttal would he?"

'Wrinkled Weasel' is quite right to be suspicious of those who write on the internet under a pseudonym. But he should have taken his insight to its logical conclusion. Many people on the internet believe that Derek Draper commands an army of anonymous party attack dogs, or 'Dollybots', whose job it is to monitor political websites on the internet and attack those who dissent from the party line.

But a moment's thought would reveal that this is absurd. The Labour Party doesn't have any money, and could not possibly afford to hire a load of people whose sole job is to write comments on the internet, under the direction of Derek Draper.

In fact, all those different pro-Labour comments on various political websites from people with 'ad hoc identities' are not the work of a team of paid staff. Nor are they written by ordinary people who just happen to support the government.

Instead, they are the work of one, very busy, man.

Me.

For, at last, I must reveal the truth.

I am Derek Draper.

10 Comments:

At 11:58 pm , Blogger Andreas Paterson said...

Can I be Derek Draper next week?

 
At 12:05 am , Blogger donpaskini said...

Of course. But no need to wait if you don't want, Derek Draper is the new Spartacus.

 
At 12:20 am , Anonymous Paul said...

Fuck off, I'm Derek Draper

 
At 9:17 am , Blogger Miller 2.0 said...

I am Derek Draper.

 
At 10:13 am , Blogger Matt Sellwood said...

I'm not Derek Draper. I'm Derek Wall.

:)

Matt

 
At 10:45 am , Blogger Tom Freeman said...

Well screw you all, I'm Peter Mandelson.

 
At 12:27 pm , Anonymous tim f said...

I'm Keir Hardie.

I win!

 
At 1:49 pm , Anonymous Paul said...

I double as Che Guavara, me. I win

 
At 2:13 pm , Blogger Jock Coats said...

There can be only one!

 
At 11:57 pm , Anonymous Louis XIV said...

Suis pas M. Draper. Mais l'etat, c'est moi.

 

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