Drivel Defence vs Compass Youth
The Plain English campaign have a software package called 'Drivel Defence'. This lets people check text that they have written to see if it could be made easier to read. Knowing how to write in plain English is important for any campaigning group.
I read an article by Compass Youth called 'Ideas and Actions to change the world'. This introduces Compass Youth and is aimed at encouraging new people to join and get involved. It is almost totally incomprehensible.
There are passages like, "A hegemonic social democratic project will only be built by contesting and winning the battle for freedom by defining real freedom not as freedom from or freedom within the constraints of the market but freedom to build our lives, our communities and our societies as we see fit by doing it together." That is not the longest sentence.
There are other bits which are easier to understand, but which are just wrong. For example, "To the democratic left process must be everything". And there is a lot of jargon in the article. To be able to make sense of it, you have to know what the authors mean by terms such as 'collectivist', 'environmentalist', 'closed hierarchy', 'social democratic', 'advanced capitalism', 'pluralism', 'progressive multilateralism' and many more.
Even 'Drivel Defence' couldn't do much to help this article. But it did offer one useful tip. Instead of the word 'progressive' it suggested:
Potential alternative : progress → (to) progress something - (replace with a more precise phrase saying what you are doing).
There is nothing wrong with using technical language or jargon in some situations. But any leftie group should be able to explain what it stands for in clear, accessible language. It should not need a degree in Political Science to understand your aims and values. Replacing the jargon and waffle with more precise phrases saying what they are doing would help Compass Youth a great deal.